I have a best friend who happens to be a guy I dated 10 years ago for about 5 minutes. We've stayed friends over the years though he hasn't entirely gotten over his unrequited love for me. And he's definitely asked me to marry him a time or two, once to be his baby-mama and once to help me get health insurance which was sweet but he's too good of a guy to take advantage of and as a friend I think he deserves someone who will love him back. Of course that doesn't stop us from going out on dates every now and then and confusing the hell out of our public with our intimate yet non-sexual behavior.
I bring all of this up as there seems to be a question about my ability to be intimate or to want intimacy with someone and that affects how I approach each date. Obviously I don't have a problem kissing a guy in the moment such as dates 7 and 14, if I feel its appropriate, comfortable and i've had enough wine. But there seems to be some question, by some readers, as to whether or not I really want something more or I'm just playing the field for kicks and writing material.
Sure, its great to have something to write about but I am sincere in my quest.
This particular friend and I had one of our friend dates recently. And although he's a guy, they aren't usually more than food, shopping and talking about boys. We had a brunch date, he held the door for me, pulled out my chair and let me order first though he let me pick up the tab. Then we walked, hand in hand, down Bedford ave laughing about how hysterically terrible it would be if his girlfriend saw us or if one of my friends happened by, however would we explain this seemingly normal form of PDA?
He put his arm around my shoulder, around my waist, kissed my check and tried to buy me a dress. Are these not boyfriend things? I can't remember. We went shopping for his kid, for a birthday present for my friend and for a vibrator for him and his girlfriend to enjoy together. Really that last part happened cause we popped into an lingerie shop where he intended to by me something nice for my next date in no mans land... But as it turned out, the shop was more the sign said and we spent and hour with the shop girl as she explained the dozens of vibrators for individual and partner use.
We settled on a purple one tied up in a black box with a pink bow. He carried all the bags and held my hand in his other hand. As we continued walking around tone i wondered if this is something i would do with my future man? And for a split second thought how much easier my romantic life would be if i just settled for the one holding my hand. I told him this and after giving me a sloppy kiss on the hand, he said i shouldn't settle for him because as often as i tease him that he could do better than me, i too could do better than him. And tests what love is right? Wanting the best for each other?
No comments:
Post a Comment