DATE #16: Let's Talk About.... Exes?

I think i've always been known as a good listener, thats of course when i actually shut my mouth long enough to hear what someone else says...

I met this fine young gentlemen at an event for NYU's Continuing Education program - I'm thinking of taking a class or two - at it was an open bar info session to get people to take their classes. I stayed about 5 minutes but in that time met this boy at the bar. I don't think i've met any of the guys i've dated at a bar...its so cliche. He was green eyed and wore a clean button down shirt and slacks, in more a banker way than a sexy business man way...

We very briefly discussed what we do, he's in finance but looking to make a switch and thus was considering some courses in non-profit start up. I had a meeting to run too but we exchanged cards in an attempt to network. Who knows, i may have a non profit to start one day.

He emailed me the next day, a nice to meet you kind of email and a " maybe we could grab a coffee sometime soon." I responded with a "sure". Of course my schedule has been beyond overbooked recently so i told him he'd have to meet me somewhere near work for maybe just one drink or a coffee or something quick and get to know you thing.

We met two days later, he texted me on the way to my office and asked how i take my coffee. I didn't have the heart to say I don't drink coffee after 3 pm, so i went with an iced decaf coffee, black with a sugar. He actually met me right on the ground floor of my office building, coffee in hand, and we went for a walk on the pier. It was a beautiful 95 degree day.

I let him start the conversation which was the boring stuff asking about what exactly it is i do and why do i work in an old Meryll Lynch building.... I wanted to discuss his non profit ideas but he suddenly, unexpectedly switched the subject to: "just so you know, I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

I just laughed even though I found this odd. Didn't he ask me out? I mean it's fine, its just coffee no need to discuss relationships but does that mean he just wants a one night stand? Doesn't seem the type but might be cute enough to consider..

But then he continued: " I just got out a really long term relationship. About3 months ago. And you seem really nice but I'm still in love with this girl..."

Great. Can i have a barf bag please? I find a relationship kind of guy who most definitely does not want one with me cause he still thinks he has one. But i couldn't leave him standing alone on the pier (when he mentioned this girl i started to worry he might jump in the Hudson). So i decided to listen, and more horrifically, asked him to tell me all about her, maybe i could learn something.

They were together for 5 years, she wanted to get married and he hesitated just long enough for her to get out the door. But bah, blah, the more girls he meets since she left the more he realizes he wants to be with her. Sounds like every romantic comedy that should be happening to me!

I didn't say anything for a while and when he was done and my ice coffee well melted to coffee flavored water, i opened my bug mouth and called him a putz. Then i fed him all my romantic idealism about fighting for the one you love and if its meant to be it will be and all the BS i so often and readily reject these days as I become more bitter about my own situation. Of course, i do remain hopeful and I will spread that romanticism like a little fairy to those in need in hopes maybe karma will come back to me.

Basically i told the guy to call her - he actually hadn't since she left! And if he really loved her and it was really meant to be, i wanted an invite to the wedding to meet his single friends. At least i got a laugh out of him despite wanting more from him cuteness.