Hiatus

As you may have noticed, I haven't had a 3rd date yet and it's been well over a week (ok, 2, but who's counting?).

After my 2nd date, I took a brief hiatus and went traveling about on a documentary shoot in Tunisia, a place I've always dreamed of going.

When I was maybe 18 or 19, I started having this dream about traveling to Tunisia. In my dream, I was making a film there and I was staying in this small hotel painted all white with blue accents. My room had a little balcony overlooking the Mediterranean from a hill top. There were white curtains always moving in the slightest cool breeze, the sun was warm and the sky the most perfect shade of blue. I dreamed of meeting my perfect man there - in the lobby of my hotel, we laughed and that was it, I was hopelessly, foolishly in love.

But that was just a dream.

In reality, I was traveling in a country where women can't sit at a cafe alone, where I had to fake marriage to my DP so I wouldn't be dragged off into the desert by Bedouins. And while my dream took place in the very real Sidi Bouh Saiid, my reality was Douz - a dusty town not unlike Mos Eisley on Tatouine in Star Wars.

I'm not complaining, it was an exceptional journey. But, when I looked out into the vast expanse of the never-ending Sahara desert, after years of dreaming about this place I'd never known, I couldn't help but think the reason I dreamed of this place is because I am filled with sand. Perhaps, I am a desert that goes on beyond the horizon and never meets the blue of the sky....

Before I left, I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who asked me what my goal really was in pursuing that crazy "27 dates" mission. I said I wanted to meet new people (she saw right through that). So I revised: I wanted to prove myself right - that there isn't a man out there that can handle all that I am, that there isn't a man for me. Well, going into this with that kind of attitude - of course I'm going to prove myself right because it means I'm not really open to being proved wrong. But really, I don't want to prove anything.

Let's be honest. Standing in the middle of the Sahara can feel like you're standing in the loneliest place on earth, but even there, you're not alone. There are plants here and there, there are scorpions and snakes and camels and Bedouins. There is the sky and the sun and at night - the most vast expanse of stars you've ever seen. And the moon. So really, I don't want to be alone. And as much as I hate to admit it to myself (and all of you), I'm just a fool looking for love in all the wrong places (the Sahara being one of them). And I just want someone to share the adventure with me.

So I still have 17 weeks (117 days) left and I'm determined to keep pushing forward on my mission - 25 dates to go! If a bush can grow in the Sahara, than there has to be one man willing to face the desert with me and I'm going to find him (someone should probably warn him).

DATE #2: The Brunch Politico

I've always thought Brunch is the perfect time to go on a date. It's not too early nor too late and I'm usually wide awake (which apparently makes me rhyme).

This particular date had never been on a brunch date before, well neither had I actually... And sometimes there's a reason why some ideas are only good in theory. First off, 3:00pm is a lousy meeting time. If I haven't been up all night and wanting to sleep in, then by 3pm I've already been up since 8 and working on something or other and now you've just broken up my day and made me drop everything and run into the city for a date!

At least the dress is casual and there's no worry about whether or not my black pants match my black shirt... jeans and a t-shirt suit just fine with a little rouge-a-levre. I'll give credit to this guy for actually putting on a clean shirt, looking like he just came from work. However, he immediately lost major points for not matching his profile pic at all - I mean he said he was 6'2 and was hardly a 5'6 in person.

'The Politico' picked a simple Spanish restaurant where we had the intention to only meet for drinks. However, they were serving brunch and in poor form, neither of us had eaten before hand. That might have been a trick on both our parts... I know for me I was thinking "if he's cute I'm totally in for a meal". He wasn't but at least he paid.

He ordered a pitcher of sangria, not a half pitcher, a whole. And before we reached the 2nd glass, and even before I food came out, we had a "friendly" disagreement about the State of Israel. A great way to start a first date, let me tell you! Thus his nick name 'The Politico', he actually keeps up with politics in a way that, well, I don't and that's kind of a turn off for me... We spent most of the meal discussing whether or not it was alright for a country to be founded on religion and who is right and wrong in the middle east and why the news is good and bad and how politics (and money) runs the world! I'll give him credit for actually arguing against me, he doesn't know me so I guess he wasn't afraid... And I was sitting in the booth too squished to get up and leave halfway through.

When we finally switched subjects, it was all about work. He's in real estate development and does for buildings what I do for movies. I'll admit, I actually found that to be interesting but he didn't seem impressed with what he does and a guy who doesn't have passion for his work, probably won't have passion too many other places in his life.... For not being an impressive person physically, he did show me a building he developed into a multi-million dollar hotel - and that was impressive.

At the end of brunch he said he liked that I was argumentative and feisty and I kind of got the feeling he just liked a woman in charge, wouldn't matter who - he even liked that the waitress was pushy. I, of course, am not interested in dominating another beast and though I think under other circumstances he was just interesting enough to be friends, there wasn't enough to even want to see him again.

DATE #1: The First Step - Who's the man?

I won't pretend to know the first date protocol but I do appreciate when it's the guy who makes the first move and asks the girl out, call me old fashioned...

My first victim, was a nice Brooklyn born boy who looked better in person than in his pictures (thank goodness). He took the initiative to ask me out after only a few short humorous emails and I thought, "oh! a guy who takes chances and makes moves...." But his first mistake was to invite me for drinks and a movie on a weeknight. Why would you invite a girl to the movies on a first date unless you didn't want to get to know her? Actually, there is no unless - if you're trapped in a movie theater you can't talk which is the whole point of meeting someone for the first time, right?

At 7:17pm I was rushing home to change and fix my mean work face into a sweet girl smile. He calls and changes plans last minute - maybe we should get dinner? That makes sense since I was just going to make a PBJ and hope it would old the liquor. We were meeting at 8pm. In less than 45 minutes I manage to pull myself into something simple and sexy (thanks Sarah) and put on just a touch of lipstick to run out the door.

He made me pick the place. Sure, he was coming to my neighborhood but I hate when I have to make the decision about where to go... that should have tipped me off right there.

We met out front and he kissed my cheek in greeting, definitely too polite, he even held the door (shouldn't I love this? Maybe I'm too jaded). We had selected a sushi joint and I ordered saki to start - he didn't like it but didn't come right out and say that, he just bent to my will. Then he couldn't decide what he wanted so he ordered a combo and I picked some special rolls. We shared everything. He explained his work and then allowed me to dominate the conversation for most of dinner. I had to ask all the questions, I had to come up with all the answers, I had to pour my own saki!

There were long lulls of silences though we laughed a few times and I tried to giggle sweetly, I was even nice and not sarcastic (well, not too sarcastic). It turned out, he was more charming in email than in person though he had a nice smile.

The real turn off was not that he didn't drink saki or that he was afraid to dive into the sushi first (he made me take the first bite - what if it had been poisoned?), it was really that he didn't want to order dessert. He doesn't like dessert. Who doesn't like dessert!? I didn't push him.

The restaurant was empty by 9:45, we were chatting about nothing and decided to head out. I walked him to his car and then walked the 8 blocks home alone in the light rain. He did kiss my cheek goodnight, I guess that was polite.

Not more than an hour later, I get a text from him:
"Hey there"
"Hey, thanks for dinner, it was nice to meet you"
"So, Anything there you think?"
--- what am I supposed to say to this? I've had less than an hour to process!
"I don't know, you? Maybe friends?"
"I haven't been on many dates so I play neutral"
--- what the hell does that mean?
"Yeah, me neither, hope I didn't talk to much"
"You're really pretty"
"Thanks"
--- who says that in a text? and does anyone use the word "pretty" anymore? unless they're referring to "pretty ugly"
"I guess we both really didn't get any vibes? plus you said you couldn't see the movie..."
--- the first honest thing all night! And really, I couldn't see the movie cause it doesn't start till 10:45 and ends at almost 1 am and I have a job (not that that's stopped me before but....)
"There just wasn't that crazy wild spark. But we could see a movie as friends sometime?"

Oops. Did I say something wrong?

Well, it was just my first date of the 27 I'm going to have in the next 20 weeks... At least I learned that I need a man who's not intimidated by me and who can decide where to eat and who can strike up conversation and who's interesting and pretty...

I think I just need to date myself.

Week 4 and still No Score

So Monday marked the beginning of my 4th week competing against my self to fulfill this foolish mission. Although I've been spending plenty of time playing the online field of fellows, I've had a hard time nagging one. It's like running through a field of butterflies waving a net with too big holes in it... you know there has to be at least one with a weak wing that will fall into your hands.

Thankfully, there is, at least one. And I've bagged a date!