Sunday, September 26, 2010

DATE# 18: almost counts...

I really didn't think I would have time this week for a date. I've been busy, I'm producing a movie for goodness sakes. And, honestly, after receiving a bit of grief over the summer for dating for the sake of dating and not for the seeking of a mate, I've slowed down. It could also be that turning 27 ages one some...

But this week I found myself wanting to do something to get over the feeling that I can't date someone I might like to date because it's just not possible. Does my rambling express well enough my sentiment? I mean, it's not really fair that I meet someone I might like to even consider dating and I can't try to date him because of elements out of my control. Everyone knows I'm someone who needs to be in control.

I found this guy on one of the dating sites I still belong to and he proposed an afterwork trip to the farmers market. We exchange a few emails about it but my schedule is kind of packed. I'm only in the city for a week before I leave again for 2. I tell him I'll let him know if a day frees up.

Miraculously, it does. I email him (we never exchanged numbers) on the train back from visiting a friend in Tarrytown, and he responds even though he's still at work (he does computer marketing.) I tell him I'm headed to Union Sq, does he want to join for some market shopping? He suggests we meet at Barnes & Nobles (typical 'I got no game plan' plan) and I say great, I'll see you there.

I obviously get there before him, the cafe is packed but I squeeze into a shared table and work on my iPad, being very productive. Every now and then I look up but don't see anyone that looks like what I think his picture looks like. I try to remember his face but really just hope he remembers mine. I told him I just cut my hair, short short, but didn't think that makes a difference, does it?

I think it does. When he was 20 minutes late and not responding to my email of "hey, you still coming?"

I was working and didn't notice the time pass or how late he really was. Just a few moments after I sent him that "you're late asshole"-esque email, I saw someone who looked like him standing just beyond the cafe area. He looked up and right at me. I smiled thinking it was him, and started to stuff my crap back into my bag. But when I looked up again, he was gone. Was I mistaken? Was it in fact, not him? Or was it and had he changed his mind upon seeing my magnificence?

I'll be honest, I was more than a little perturbed at this chain of events. I had half the mind to run after him, grab him by the arm and ask him who the bloody F buckets did he think he was? I didn't, mostly cause I shop at the Union Sq B&N alot and wanted to be welcomed back... I just left feeling even more superior than the rest of the world, I mean, I'm awesome, I'm the bomb, I'm producing a f--king movie (sure, a short but still...) and still manage to look halfway good despite being stressed out my eyeballs and not sleeping. Who the f--- did he, or anyone, think they were to walk out on me!? Or stand me up? Livid is too calm a word to describe me in that moment.

He did, however 10 minutes later, respond to my email with: "So sorry. I left you a message, I'm held up at work. Raincheck!" So maybe it wasn't him I saw in the B&N, or maybe it was and this was his polite way of backing out, covering his ass... Of course, I never gave him my number directly but it's on my email signature... But I never got that voicemail, and I've played that game before too: "Sure, I totally left you a message, it must be the fault of AT&T, so sorry!" Uh-hem: BULLSHIT.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

He Calls When He Says He Will....

If you read Date # 17, you know I met another perfectly good guy I have no idea what to do with. Sure, a decision to return this fish to the sea should be easy seeing as he lives 8 hours away but just a few short days after we parted and I was on my way to forgetting his name, he called. Yeah, he called when he said he would and it surprised me.

I know I shouldn't allow myself to be surprised but that was the whole point in throwing expectations out the window. When you don't expect anything, of course you'll be surprised! And life is much more exciting when it's full of surprises.

A phone call shouldn't be so exciting, or even a dozen of them over a few week period, but lets face it, this is how girls think. They sit around filing their nails, drinking cosmos and wonder with each other as to why a guy hasn't called, if she should call him or text him or what the F? And if/when a guy does call, we have no idea what to do or think and basically we are genetically scarred.

I was recently out with one such girlfriend who couldn't understand why her boyfriend hadn't called or texted her with plans. Why had he not responded to her calls or texts? How disrespectful, what a douche, who does he think he is? And why on earth isn't he thinking of me? I thought - should I be thinking all of these things too? It's too stressful! However, later that same night, Pittsburgh guy did call me out of the blue, unexpectedly, and I had all the answers to my friends questions.... Your boyfriend probably isn't thinking about you for a whole 5 minutes and that's why he hasn't called, because if he wants to call he will. How do we, as women, not know this?

Of course I'm stressed out about not caring if this guy calls or not. I mean, it's super nice, but I don't know if I remember what he looks like let alone how he kisses. We aren't Facebook friends (how could we be with all the shit I'm saying about him?), we don't email, we don't really text - maybe twice... We talk on the phone like we're in the 7th grade and our parents are downstairs listening in, it's all PG, he's never even asked what I was wearing. And then I totally forget that we haven't spoken for a week until he calls and I let it got to voice mail just so I can hear how he pronounces his full name all over again.

And for the record, I'm not going to Pittsburgh so whatever this isn't, it's going to stay that way until he comes to New York, if he ever comes. But I will admit, I do wonder what it would be like, to get to know someone who laughs at your bad jokes AND calls when he says he will, and sometimes even when he says he won't...