DATE #14: Outside the Workplace

I have a firm no dating in the industry policy. I don't date co-workers, I don't date filmmakers. I'm very very strict about this, I just don't do it, NO, NO, NO. There is a reason I don't, it's not completely ridiculous that I don't want the entire New York film community know all about my personal life. (even if most of them read my blog...) I want to have that separation of work and life, like church and state, it's completely necessary to keep me sane!

But somehow, in some crazy turn of events, I agreed to go on a date with a co-worker - granted we are no longer working together - but I agreed nonetheless. It was part desperation for a date to add to my blog, part - he stood up to me when I bitched him out at work and that's kind of cute (you know, he tried to win a fight he just couldn't, it's cute) and part he was a real live guy asking me out and not an Internet fix up, oh, and he came with good recommendations. Alright, it was mostly, I need something interesting to write and going against everything I believe about dating in the work place seemed like an interesting subject to broach.

Of course I wasn't expecting to face the fact that this guy is the kind of guy I probably SHOULD be dating. Someone who knows what working in the biz is like, who understands the hours and crazy schedule and someone who has seen my prickly office personality and yet still finds me irresistibly adorable.

We met for drinks on a work night. I figured that way I wouldn't be committing to too much, no dinner, no staying out late, and he'd understand since we both would have to work early. I was 10 minutes late as usual, he was sitting at the bar counting down the minutes til he could declare me "that bitch who stood me up". But I showed up. Instead of a nice half hug with a pat on the back, he pulled me directly into a wet kiss on the cheek which was quite unexpected.

We got wildly expensive sugary cocktails and sat down at a table where we very quickly decided to eat. The waiter came by and my date ordered appetizers for both of us before I had a chance to even voice my opinion. I don't think I've ever had a guy order for me - I was partially flattered and partially thinking who the hell does he think he is, taking away my free will like that. It did however give me something to tease him about and despite how uncertain I felt about the evening, the teasing helped break the ice. And his appetizer choices weren't bad, that is except for the hot wings - sorry, you just don't order hot wings in a fancy restaurant where 1) you shouldn't be eating finger food and 2) you don't know that your date can't handle anything spice. Please, I'm spicy enough I don't need my food to be too.

We managed to find lots to talk about, well, we mostly talked about work but it was nice to actually have something in common with a date - other than having met online which wasn't even the case here. I agreed to move on from appetizers to dinner. Of course as soon as we order dinner, the manager comes over to tell us the kitchen is closed. It's hardly 10:30 and in a swanky joint as we were, I couldn't believe the kitchen was closed! However, for our inconvenience, we scored several free deserts and we were pretty much the last people in the restaurant, having a good time not even I can deny.

Without even checking the time on our iPhones, we went for a drink in the secret bar room next door. He grabbed the drinks and we sat on a squishy couch across from 2 girls and a guy and decided to make up stories about their lives, in my mind the guy was sleeping with both girls, one his girl friend, the other her best friend... and as I was telling my version of their story out loud, my date believed they caught wind as they stood to leave and he blushed with embarrassment. Which was kind of cute, I embarrassed a guy in public who then leaned over and told me how beautiful I am, as if I didn't know - but he was sincere and I felt a slight wave of guilt.

When the three-some left, a good-looking gay couple sat across the way and we watched as they made out in a romantic candle-lit corner. I know it may not sound romantic but it actually was quite inspiring and there wasn't any inappropriate story I could make up. I looked at my date and wondered if I would want to kiss him like that couple, and I just didn't know.

Of course, I didn't have to make a choice, just as I didn't have to pick the restaurant, or the drinks, or the appetizers, nor did I have to pick up any tab, it was a refreshing no-decision evening. And continuing with that theme, he made the choice to kiss me. I doubt we looked as good as the gay couple but it wasn't like anyone was looking. I can't say it was fireworks but it was a comfortable change for the first time since I started all this mess of dating.

The bar was closing but how could one more drink kill us? It was only 1, work will still be there if we're late... We got up to leave and he went for the rest room and while I waited by the door. A very drunk good looking Australian walked up to me and leaned his arm on the door frame over me and whispered in my ear "you look hot with your hand on your hip". I laughed a thank you as he then went off on a rant about having left his beer in the bathroom and how my date was probably peeing in his cup. I was wishing he did.

On our final drink we talked about likes and dislikes, the standard date questions finally came around after discussing a myriad of other topics from favorite travel places to intimacy differences between men and women. Somehow, I accidentally let it slip that I write a dating blog. Not sure how it came up, or why I didn't shut my mouth when he said he couldn't hear me over the music, I thought I'd be doing him a favor if I was honest.. he was definitely freaked the *@%^ out and I thought wow, this is an easy way out of something that definitely has potential to get complicated. But he didn't give in that easy. He just switched subjects and we kept right on having an oddly good time.

When it finally felt too late for either of us to be efficient at work the next day, we decided to share a cab back to Brooklyn. He dropped me at my place, but not just a drop - he had the cab wait with the meter running so he could walk me to my door and give me a good night kiss. I looked at him before I shut the door and thought dating him could be so easy but I don't know how to do easy and he's too nice - someone should warn him I'm the black widow of dating.