I won't pretend to know the first date protocol but I do appreciate when it's the guy who makes the first move and asks the girl out, call me old fashioned...
My first victim, was a nice Brooklyn born boy who looked better in person than in his pictures (thank goodness). He took the initiative to ask me out after only a few short humorous emails and I thought, "oh! a guy who takes chances and makes moves...." But his first mistake was to invite me for drinks and a movie on a weeknight. Why would you invite a girl to the movies on a first date unless you didn't want to get to know her? Actually, there is no unless - if you're trapped in a movie theater you can't talk which is the whole point of meeting someone for the first time, right?
At 7:17pm I was rushing home to change and fix my mean work face into a sweet girl smile. He calls and changes plans last minute - maybe we should get dinner? That makes sense since I was just going to make a PBJ and hope it would old the liquor. We were meeting at 8pm. In less than 45 minutes I manage to pull myself into something simple and sexy (thanks Sarah) and put on just a touch of lipstick to run out the door.
He made me pick the place. Sure, he was coming to my neighborhood but I hate when I have to make the decision about where to go... that should have tipped me off right there.
We met out front and he kissed my cheek in greeting, definitely too polite, he even held the door (shouldn't I love this? Maybe I'm too jaded). We had selected a sushi joint and I ordered saki to start - he didn't like it but didn't come right out and say that, he just bent to my will. Then he couldn't decide what he wanted so he ordered a combo and I picked some special rolls. We shared everything. He explained his work and then allowed me to dominate the conversation for most of dinner. I had to ask all the questions, I had to come up with all the answers, I had to pour my own saki!
There were long lulls of silences though we laughed a few times and I tried to giggle sweetly, I was even nice and not sarcastic (well, not too sarcastic). It turned out, he was more charming in email than in person though he had a nice smile.
The real turn off was not that he didn't drink saki or that he was afraid to dive into the sushi first (he made me take the first bite - what if it had been poisoned?), it was really that he didn't want to order dessert. He doesn't like dessert. Who doesn't like dessert!? I didn't push him.
The restaurant was empty by 9:45, we were chatting about nothing and decided to head out. I walked him to his car and then walked the 8 blocks home alone in the light rain. He did kiss my cheek goodnight, I guess that was polite.
Not more than an hour later, I get a text from him:
"Hey there"
"Hey, thanks for dinner, it was nice to meet you"
"So, Anything there you think?"
--- what am I supposed to say to this? I've had less than an hour to process!
"I don't know, you? Maybe friends?"
"I haven't been on many dates so I play neutral"
--- what the hell does that mean?
"Yeah, me neither, hope I didn't talk to much"
"You're really pretty"
"Thanks"
--- who says that in a text? and does anyone use the word "pretty" anymore? unless they're referring to "pretty ugly"
"I guess we both really didn't get any vibes? plus you said you couldn't see the movie..."
--- the first honest thing all night! And really, I couldn't see the movie cause it doesn't start till 10:45 and ends at almost 1 am and I have a job (not that that's stopped me before but....)
"There just wasn't that crazy wild spark. But we could see a movie as friends sometime?"
Oops. Did I say something wrong?
Well, it was just my first date of the 27 I'm going to have in the next 20 weeks... At least I learned that I need a man who's not intimidated by me and who can decide where to eat and who can strike up conversation and who's interesting and pretty...
I think I just need to date myself.
My first victim, was a nice Brooklyn born boy who looked better in person than in his pictures (thank goodness). He took the initiative to ask me out after only a few short humorous emails and I thought, "oh! a guy who takes chances and makes moves...." But his first mistake was to invite me for drinks and a movie on a weeknight. Why would you invite a girl to the movies on a first date unless you didn't want to get to know her? Actually, there is no unless - if you're trapped in a movie theater you can't talk which is the whole point of meeting someone for the first time, right?
At 7:17pm I was rushing home to change and fix my mean work face into a sweet girl smile. He calls and changes plans last minute - maybe we should get dinner? That makes sense since I was just going to make a PBJ and hope it would old the liquor. We were meeting at 8pm. In less than 45 minutes I manage to pull myself into something simple and sexy (thanks Sarah) and put on just a touch of lipstick to run out the door.
He made me pick the place. Sure, he was coming to my neighborhood but I hate when I have to make the decision about where to go... that should have tipped me off right there.
We met out front and he kissed my cheek in greeting, definitely too polite, he even held the door (shouldn't I love this? Maybe I'm too jaded). We had selected a sushi joint and I ordered saki to start - he didn't like it but didn't come right out and say that, he just bent to my will. Then he couldn't decide what he wanted so he ordered a combo and I picked some special rolls. We shared everything. He explained his work and then allowed me to dominate the conversation for most of dinner. I had to ask all the questions, I had to come up with all the answers, I had to pour my own saki!
There were long lulls of silences though we laughed a few times and I tried to giggle sweetly, I was even nice and not sarcastic (well, not too sarcastic). It turned out, he was more charming in email than in person though he had a nice smile.
The real turn off was not that he didn't drink saki or that he was afraid to dive into the sushi first (he made me take the first bite - what if it had been poisoned?), it was really that he didn't want to order dessert. He doesn't like dessert. Who doesn't like dessert!? I didn't push him.
The restaurant was empty by 9:45, we were chatting about nothing and decided to head out. I walked him to his car and then walked the 8 blocks home alone in the light rain. He did kiss my cheek goodnight, I guess that was polite.
Not more than an hour later, I get a text from him:
"Hey there"
"Hey, thanks for dinner, it was nice to meet you"
"So, Anything there you think?"
--- what am I supposed to say to this? I've had less than an hour to process!
"I don't know, you? Maybe friends?"
"I haven't been on many dates so I play neutral"
--- what the hell does that mean?
"Yeah, me neither, hope I didn't talk to much"
"You're really pretty"
"Thanks"
--- who says that in a text? and does anyone use the word "pretty" anymore? unless they're referring to "pretty ugly"
"I guess we both really didn't get any vibes? plus you said you couldn't see the movie..."
--- the first honest thing all night! And really, I couldn't see the movie cause it doesn't start till 10:45 and ends at almost 1 am and I have a job (not that that's stopped me before but....)
"There just wasn't that crazy wild spark. But we could see a movie as friends sometime?"
Oops. Did I say something wrong?
Well, it was just my first date of the 27 I'm going to have in the next 20 weeks... At least I learned that I need a man who's not intimidated by me and who can decide where to eat and who can strike up conversation and who's interesting and pretty...
I think I just need to date myself.
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